File1, 2, & 3 for apham2:


If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want
to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how
my  parents were occupied and all before they me, and all that David
Copperfield and all that crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you
want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in
the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apeice if I
told anything personal about them.


They each had their own room and all. They were both around seventy years
old, or even more than that. They got a bang out of things, though-in a
half-assed way, of course. I know that sounds mean to say, but I don't
mean it mean. I just mean that I used to think about old Spencer quite a
lot, and if you thought about him too much, you wondered what the heck he
was stil living for.


I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm
on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where
I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible. So
when I told Spencer I had to go to the gym to get my equipment and stuff,
that was a sheer lie. I don't even keep my goddanm equipment in the gym.

No lines are longer than 80 characters, TYVM. Other specified properties aren't being scored automatically at this time so this is not necessarily good news...