File1, 2, & 3 for akadel2:



Gettid Divorced

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, " I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that you that your mother and I are
divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We
are sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," She
shouts, I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do
a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they
are coming for what do we tell them for Christmas?"


Helicopter Ride

Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he
would say to her, "Ethel, you know that I'would love to go for a ride in
that helicopter." But Ethel would always reply, "Iknow that Walter, but
that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

FInallly, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, "Ethel, you
know I'm 87 years old now. If I don't ride that helicopter this year, If
I don't ride helicopter this year, I may never get another chance." Once
again Ethel replied, "Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and
50 dollars is 50 dollars."

This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple's conversation and
said, "listen folks, I'll make a deal with you. I'll take both of you
for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say
a word I won't charge you! But if you say just a word, it's 50 dollars."

Walter and Ehtel agree and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot
Performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by
either Walter or Ethel. The pilod did his death-defying tricks over and
over again, but still there wasn't so much as one word said. When they
finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, "Wow! I've got to
hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you scream or shout out,
but you didn't. I'm really impressed!"

Walter replied, "Well to be honest I almost said something when ethel fell
out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"


Hello! My name is Arjun Kadel and I am from Nepal. I am a curret student at
Virginia Commonwealth University standing junior. My field of study is
Information Technology.I anticipate to graduate on Fall of 2020. I did not
have much computer knowledge growing up and I take this IT career as a
great challenge as well as opportunity. I work part time as a realtor and
it gives me a great satisfaction to be able to help others buying or
selling their dream houses. Beside school and work, I can be found at
Deeprun Park playing soccer. I also love various fun activities like
fishing,boating,swimming, running, etc. Thank you for your time to read
my short bio.

No lines are longer than 80 characters, TYVM. Other specified properties aren't being scored automatically at this time so this is not necessarily good news...